Thank you.

So this wasn't all too recent.
But I was thinking about it today, and I'm not sure how i feel about it. Not sure if its a good thing, or a bad thing, or what.
But.
So I don't think all that many people have been so close to killing them selves. I did not even think I ever was. But there was one night. Where I finally realized, that I had it in me to kill myself. I was so close. I just layed on my living room floor, telling myself, that if I just needed to lay there. Not to go into the kitchen. I knew if there was a knife in my handI probably wouldn't be here. I realized if i want to commit suicide, I can, and I will.
But I willed myself to call my friend. I told her, that I needed her, to come over my house, that I really needed her. And she came.
I don't think I ever told her this, but she really saved me. She came to me, and didn't ask any questions. When I needed her, she was there...So I thank her with all of my heart. I really do. I have a feeling, that if I ever decide to go that far, that I need to call her first. That she'll be there for me.